Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
