I have demons in me.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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