unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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