I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
