why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
