As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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