I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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