I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
