u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
