Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
