where does the pee come out of this thing
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
