Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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