So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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