Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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