Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
