I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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