Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
