No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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