How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
