hell yes lets make some ravioli
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
