At least make sure they are 18
Why
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
