As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Dicks are not precious.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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