I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
