I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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