His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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