Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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