Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
