Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
