Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
