i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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