Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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