Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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