i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
