she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
