have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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