wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
