I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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