I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
