drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
