i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
