I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
