he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
