Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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