that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
