would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
did i just pee glitter
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
