me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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