You can't motorboat a personality
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
