watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
