Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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