..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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