okay pat passed out under dana's car
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
